Your wardrobe can be both the single most empowering tool in your arsenal and a bit of a torture chamber if you don't feel like yourself in it. Speaking personally, I think it can get incredibly complicated during transitional periods in your life. Your 30s tend to be a big one. Whether it's physical changes like weight loss or gain, postpartum recovery, a career shift, a new city and climate, or just deciding it's finally time for a change, building a wardrobe that actually works for you is possible. Here's how I've found personal success in that, as someone whose life and wardrobe has changed drastically in the last few years.
Also, quick real talk: you're not going to wake up one day with a perfect wardrobe. You're also not going to build one over a couple of weekends. Building things takes time, and your energy to do so ebbs and flows. Take it slow, be patient, and just have fun!
Do a Closet Audit First
Let's be real. You probably have a closet full of things that just make you go "meh," or at the very least don't really fit your life anymore. It's time to part with them. But while doing so, I think it's also important to look at what you do have. What percentage of pieces can you wear every day? How many items can be reworked in multiple ways? What gaps are you seeing? Maybe even some patterns, a certain fabric or cut you seem really drawn to. From what you're keeping, assess what you have, what you need, and what you'd eventually like to upgrade.
For example, I love a beautiful crewneck cashmere sweater. I have one from J.Crew right now that I quite love, but I'd like to eventually upgrade to a higher quality piece when my budget allows. This helps me understand what I actually enjoy and wear in my collection, and it keeps me on the lookout for good deals from Laura Piano.
Think About Your Lifestyle
A great place to start when building your wardrobe in your 30s, or at any point in your life, is to actually think about where you are in life and what you need your wardrobe to do. Maybe you really need your wardrobe to be more casual and active. You're running around all day and want something that works for that. Or perhaps a good amount of your week is spent in professional settings that require a more put-together sense of style. Whatever the situation calls for, think about the three things you spend the most time doing during the week and focus on how your wardrobe needs to work for those situations.
Some of this requires being real. Personally, transitioning my wardrobe into my 30s was harder than I expected. I wasn't going out and partying as much, and in some ways I felt embarrassed about that, like I was becoming uncool. But really, partying just looked different for me. And realistically, my idea of what I found sexy and how I wanted to be perceived as sexy was changing, so a lot of my wardrobe needed to change too.
Be Honest With Yourself
Honesty is the hardest part of anything. But I do think it's required in every avenue of life. There's this scene in Mad Men where Joan (played by Christina Hendricks) tells Peggy (played by America’s third favorite Scientologist Elisabeth Moss) to evaluate her strengths and weaknesses by putting a paper bag over her head and cutting eyeholes out. Extreme? Sure. But there's something to it.
At a certain point you have to assess what actually works for you, and I don't mean this in an early 2000s, diet-culture, "flattering" kind of way. Wear what you want. But there is something to things fitting well, and most of that comes down to tailoring. You can be strategic about what parts of your body you want to highlight or downplay. You get to decide what you want to play up. And maybe for you that means dressing in a flattering way.
For me, I really love anything that emphasizes my waist. I love a dramatic hourglass silhouette. It's what makes me feel empowered and sexy.
Pull Inspiration (But Make It Yours)
This is where things get fun. It's time to get artistic about it. You can dig into all the beauty and worldly pleasures. I've personally always loved pulling inspiration from TV, architecture, and celebrity, though inspiration shows up everywhere: film, paintings, the complexity of nature. The key is to pull from it, not copy it directly. Find a way to work it into your own style, otherwise you run the risk of it being a costume. I've always loved Fran Fine's style. It's overdramatic, playful, and sharply tailored, but it doesn't work in all contexts of my life. Instead, I find bits and pieces to pull in, like a bedazzled Michel Simon sweater for afternoon teas or a cropped blazer with a cute brooch for professional meetings.
Set a Budget
Boring, snooze, not fun! But necessary. Your wardrobe won't build itself overnight. Find a budget that works for you monthly or quarterly and devote some time to shopping. When determining a budget, I also think about the quality of the item. Think about cost per wear, essentially a methodology that encourages you to figure out the true cost of an item by measuring it against how often you'll actually wear it. A one-time-occasion item probably isn't worth a high price point, but a piece you'll rework countless ways, a cashmere sweater in my case, is well worth the investment. I also factor in the cost of tailoring and garment care. Some items strictly require dry cleaning, and that's a cost worth accounting for upfront.
One of my favorite budget hacks is shopping off-season. The best time to buy a great coat is March. The best time to invest in linen and summer staples is September. Retailers are trying to move inventory and prices drop significantly. It requires a little patience and planning ahead, but if you know your uniform and you know what gaps you're filling, you can shop strategically and stretch your budget a lot further.
Be Intentional With Every Purchase
My biggest tip for building your wardrobe, especially when shopping: if you don't automatically get excited about it (excluding basics) and you don't feel really good in it when you first try it on, ditch it. You won't reach for it. I also personally challenge myself to think about how to style a piece at least a few different ways before committing. Clothes hold such emotional energy and are the first visualization of who we are to other people. Treat them and your closet accordingly.
Build a Color Palette, Not Just a Closet
This doesn't need to be complicated or rigid, but having a loose sense of your color palette makes building a wardrobe a lot easier and a lot more functional. When pieces share a color language they naturally work together, which means more outfit options from fewer items and a lot less standing in front of your closet feeling like you have nothing to wear.
Start by looking at what you already reach for. Most people have a color story happening in their wardrobe whether they realize it or not. Mine is cherry red, white, and black as my base, with leopard print as my neutral pattern and burgundy making an appearance for the right occasion. Everything works together, which means I can shop with intention instead of impulse.
A good loose framework to work from is a neutral base, one or two accent colors you genuinely love, and one wildcard. Your neutrals do the heavy lifting, your accents give the wardrobe personality, and your wildcard is for the pieces that are just purely fun and don't need to justify themselves to anyone. Leopard, in my opinion, counts as a neutral and I will die on that hill.
Find Your Uniform
A really great way to build your wardrobe is to establish a couple of "uniforms." This could be a silhouette or quite literally a go-to outfit. This is great for times when you aren't feeling inspired by fashion, you're in a weird funk with your body, or you just have limited time to get ready. Your uniform should be something you feel comfortable and confident in. You can have a signature silhouette and then play with textures, patterns, color combos, or accessories within it.
Personally, my uniform for cooler months is a midi slip skirt, cashmere sweater or turtleneck, knee-high boots, and a moto jacket. Within that I might add a pendant necklace, or swap the slip skirt for one in the same cut but a different fabric.
Get to That Tailor
Last and final recommendation: get to that tailor! A garment looks best when it's fit to you. Given the current state of the retail industry, it's really hard to buy something off the rack and have it just fit. Taking the time to have a garment tailored even just a little bit better makes a world of difference. You don't have to get every piece tailored. But prioritize the ones you want in your wardrobe for years to come or plan on wearing heavily. A tailor shouldn't just be for special occasions. They should be part of your foundation.
Well, happy dressing babes. Building a wardrobe in your 30s isn't about having it all figured out. It's about getting more intentional, more honest, and a little more selfish about what you actually want to feel like when you walk out the door. Your wardrobe should grow with you, surprise you sometimes, and above all feel like yours. Now go find something fabulous.
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